Pursue.

I was completely alone in the woods.  Panic started to settle in.  Was I lost?  Had I took a wrong path?  I kept telling myself to push through and to keep going.  I was six hours and 42km into this race, and there was no way I was going to stop now.  I was committed.

After an exhausting climb to the top, I began my decent down, and that is when the pain shifted from muscle fatigue to joint pain. Each step down screamed at me to stop. It was all I could focus on, but I pressed on.

I felt the longing ten years ago.  It nagged at me, like something was pulling the bottom of my heart strings.  I couldn’t place it, but words started to settle in and take root;  community, family, wellness, adventure, building.

So I began to search.  I tried to create this environment I had in my church.  And it failed.  I didn’t have the people skills or the knowledge to know how to start it.  Then I tried it at work, and it started to build.  People started connecting.  Friendships and bonds were beginning to form.  Kids and parents started to gather together…I felt like my dream was finally starting to take form.

With my husband’s work causing us to move, a song inspired me to take the leap; The Struts would sing, “Could have been me”.  I had to take the chance.  Just what if its out there?  What if I missed out on an opportunity?

The song sings, “I wanna taste love and pain, wanna feel pride and shame. I don’t wanna take my time, don’t wanna waste one line. I wanna live better days, never look back and say could have been me, it could have been me.”

Often when I am inside, my thoughts and heart begin to wander.  My gaze drifts to a window and I search for a view of the mountains.  They are constantly calling me.  They often interrupt my thoughts in mid-conversation and they tempt me to run away and recklessly abandon all solidarity and run.  There are times my body is present, but my spirit is off soaring on a subconscious adventure through the trees, dodging roots and rocks that speckle the curvaceous path before me.

So we moved and I pursued again.  For five years.  I tried again to form this vision at two more gyms and another church.  My heart began to ache, and I remember saying to my husband, “Why would God place this vision, this longing on my heart if it’s not meant to be?”

I started to work at a gym that didn’t have a facility.  This gym would pop up kids camps and school bootcamps.  They had said maybe eventually they would open up a gym in Calgary.

And then the nagging grew until it felt like I couldn’t hear anything else.  I blindly started typing out my dream, my vision.  Like a dam breaking and the waters finally released to flow, rushing through unmarked land, recklessly abandoning all caution. 

I poured. And then I leaped. I sent it to my boss.

I had been running for nearly eight hours.  I was positive my toes were bleeding.  My hydration pack was causing callouses on my collar bone and lower back, and my knees screamed at every step I took.  The trees cleared and the path before me opened up towards the finish line.  I pushed past the pain, opened my stride one last time, and ran down the hill.  Fifty-two kilometres.  I did it.  I completed my first solo Ultra.  Crossing that line, I crumbled; gasping for air I was over-taken by emotions of relief, of pain, of joy.  The experience of that moment will forever be something I will cherish.  I was stubborn enough to pursue the finish line, and now have the medal to prove it.

The day after I sent that email to my boss, he called me.  I answered, and he said; “So I read your email and laughed.”

I forgot to breathe and my heart felt like it stopped mid-beat.  He continued; “Yesterday I met with the owner, and we wrote down what we had envisioned if we started a gym here in Calgary.  And then after the meeting I received your email; describing our gym.”

I am now apart of a new gym whose focus is build community and empower athletes; for every member of the family.  The gym opens in a couple of weeks, and I am so excited to begin this new job I am made to do.  Every experience, every failure, every obstacle that I faced, has been preparing me for this new adventure.

Dear friend, pursue your dreams.  Jump in with both feet.  Pray relentlessly.  And despite all of the pain, all of the years of waiting, longing, training; pursue.  Because dreams really can come true.

“When you have found just how fast you can run; When you have found your place in the sun. It’s not just you that you’ll find; has made the run and the climb. It’s everyone. Learning to bend and not to break; living to give more than you take. Dying to live, living to try; feet on the ground, dreams in the sky. It’s never how much you have.” Living The Braveheart Life: Randall Wallace.

Base Camp

The enemies advanced.  The ground shook with thousands of soldiers marching towards his newly established kingdom.  With news of the approaching enemy, the King’s heart pounded along to the rhythm of the quivering ground.  His eyes scanned his own soldiers.  These honorable men – who obeyed his every order, who never waivered in their belief in him as the anointed King – they stood around him; ready for battle.  He tried to read behind their furrowed brows.  Were they as brave as they appeared to be?  Or were they masking the doubt that was taking root in the depths of his own heart?

King David raised up his index finger to lay pause before he spoke.  His men grew silent.

“I must go into my stronghold.”

Pulling his shoulders back in pronounced courage, he walked slowly and confidently into his basecamp.  He knew the eyes of his men were upon him, and he knew he had to be strong for them.  But he also knew for his strength to last, he had to go to the Source.

Below ground, safe from the masses, he knelt to the dirt, clasped his hands together and placed his forehead to his hands.  And there, he met his Strength face to face.  He evaluated his circumstances.  He prayed.  He listened.  He obeyed.

The plan was in place.  He knew where his strength came from.  He knew who he was; the Anointed King of Israel.  He knew the plan, and he was motivated.  Showered with purpose he was able to leave his haven, command his men, and lead them into victory.  (2 Samuel 5:17-25)

Your race season is over.  The battle is won.  Base camp looks pretty good right now.  The weather is getting colder, and those blankets will only get warmer the longer you surround yourself with them.  Enjoy that cup of coffee.  Enjoy those longer nights.  But ready yourself; your battle will again arise, and again you will chase victory.

But is race season over; or is it the beginning of next year’s season?  If your anything like me, taking a week or two or three may just be what your mind and your body needs.  Switch gears, slow down, eat a little more and relax.  You have worked hard all summer long, and with no races in the near future it is easy to take it a little slower.

But what do you do now?  You are at base camp, withdrawn from battle, and reevaluating your next steps.

PHASE ONE.  BASE CAMP.  STRATEGIZE.  STRENGTH.  FAITH.

End of September to December

Let’s begin next year’s race season by evaluating your current physical state.  Your body has been through a lot.  Muscles are tender and tired.  Tendons and joints have been taxed from all the impact of endurance training and running all season.  It is time to rebuild.

Or, if you are embarking on your first race season, then it is time to build from the ground up.  Either way, we are in this together.

Strategize

There are three areas you need to focus on while you remain in Base Camp; Recovery, Mobility, and Weakness.

Recovery

Do you have any injuries?  Let’s get those out of the way.  Depending on the state of the injury, see your doctor or physiotherapist or speak with a trainer at your gym.  How can you take care of your injury best?  Maybe it needs more rest, more strengthening, more rolling, more stretching.  Give yourself the time and grace to heal.  There are no pressures now to perform, so recover and heal as best you can.

Mobility

Take a look at your joints.  How are your knees feeling?  Your shoulders?  Your hips?  Is there any joint that feels weak or pending injury?  Make a plan to work the surrounding muscles around those specific worn out joints from the season.  To be strong you need to work from the inside out.  Don’t start with massive lifts and movements if your joints are weak or over-taxed, this will cause injury from compensating the weak areas and set you back before you even got to start.

Weakness

Take a look at your past race season.  What slowed you down?  Was it the obstacles?  Do you need to focus more on grip strength?  Was it running long distances?  Was it climbing those hills?  Was it the burden carries?  Whatever you felt slowed you down this past season, make that your priority to strengthen for next season.  One of the reasons I love Obstacle Course Racing, is it reveals one strengths and weaknesses in just one race.

Strength

Strength Phase rocks!!  Let me tell you why, because there isn’t much cardio, you can take your time through the lifts and breathe between each set.  You eventually are lifting big and seeing your strength grow week by week.  As your strength grows, so does your muscles, and your appetite, which is perfect for those cold winter months when salads just aren’t as satisfying anymore!

Here’s a basic strategy for strength building/resistance training.  Begin with lots of repetitions to get the correct form and create a base.  You’ve got roughly three months in strength phase, and you want to increase your lifts by 10% each week.  As you progress through these months, your repetitions will decrease as your weights and sets increase.  Starting with a 15reptition with 2set program for the first week or two, then progress to a 10rep 3set program with heavier weights.  Then continue; 8rep 4sets, 5rep 5sets, then 3reps 5 sets.  Progressing slowly, but still pushing your lifts to your maximum effort will build strength safely and effectively.

Don’t forget to continue doing cardio, as you don’t want to completely lose this.  I usually drop my distance in the off season and do shorter, lighter runs more often.  I remove the pressure these 3 months to progress in running and just maintain cardio.

Faith

Close your eyes and imagine someone who is strong.  What do they look like?  Their shoulders are probably pulled back square.  They stand courageous.  But look at their eyes.  One who is strong internally sees more than what’s before them.  There is purpose in their gaze, there is an unearthly assurance in their posture.

Purpose and drive does not come from the head.  It comes from the heart.  Fight and desire, grit and determination, grows in a fierceness that is not physical.  This type of strength takes root in the soul, weaving its way around a person’s character and blossoming when the Sun shines just right.

How quickly an empty jar smashes when struck, but when it is filled with rich soil, thick and vibrant, healthy enough to sustain life; cracks may happen when struck, but that vessel remains intact holding onto its fullness with purpose.

Plaint those tiny mustard seeds of faith and let them take root within your soul, and allow the Holy Spirit to speak truth into your soul about who you are.  You are chosen.  You are loved.  You are a warrior.

Are you filled?  Have you found your Stronghold?  Have you tapped into the Source?

Winter is coming, the battle is on hold for now, but training has just begun.  Arm yourself now in your stronghold.  Lift heavy, lift confidently, and lift with purpose.  Next year you will race, but you will not be alone.

“Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  1 Joshua 1:9

Generic Training

I hate swimsuit shopping.  I walk into this brand-new store in the mall and start shuffling through the suits.  One of the staff approach me happily.  She’s beautiful; tall, thin, blonde.

“Hi!  Welcome!  What colour suit are you looking for?”

“Hi,” I answer hesitantly, “I’m looking for a size…”

“Oh sweetheart, let me stop you right there.  These suits are all the same size!  One size fits all!”

I laugh.  “Sure.  Seriously, where are the sizes?”  I look up and gaze across the racks of colourful suits and notice no signs indicating sizes.

“I don’t think you understand.  All our suits are one size.  One size fits all.”  She states.

I stop and look her up and down.  “So, my short, stalky, and curvy figure is going to fit into the same suit that your tall and lean figure would fit into?”

“Yes!”  She smiles condemningly at me.

Good-bye, stupid store.  This is why I hate bathing suit shopping.

I have a Doctors appointment.  Sitting down with my doctor in his office I start explaining to him what’s bothering me.

“No problem,” He answers quickly and opens up his cabinet that is filled with identical medication bottles.  He grabs one randomly and hands it to me.

“What’s this?”  I ask.

“It’s the latest medication on the market.  Cures all.  It helps with headaches, backaches, allergies, depression, weight-loss, anything.”

“This one medication is going to specifically help my condition, as well as anyone else’s specific conditions?”

“Yes, exactly.”  He answers.

Good grief.

I’m noticing a trend within the fitness industry.  Generic Training.  One size fits all.  Corporations get group fit classes from up above and descend it down to their instructors.  Instructors don’t need to think anymore.  Just push play.  Just read the script.  Just follow these steps.  Self-proclaimed, uncertified Trainers announce proudly; “I did this workout and I look like this!  Train with me and do exactly what I do and look like me!”  This is how you know they are uncertified.  A true trainer knows that this is incorrect in so many levels.

It makes me cringe!  Stop the madness!

Before I break down my argument, let me first clarify one thing; I love teaching group fitness, bootcamps and programs where everyone works together.  I strongly believe these are important and help one work harder.  You will also develop a social health that is super important to your wellbeing.  There are programs and exercises that everyone would benefit from within these workouts if done properly.

However, we are not all built the same with the same physical background and same occupation with the same daily physical strains on our bodies.  We cannot train like the athletes we see on Instagram and push our bodies to its limits and neglect the details.  These athletes we follow have developed a foundation in their fitness.  They work on their weaknesses off screen and recover and stretch.  They had hours of practicing proper form and months or years of eating the right foods and gradually placing progressive overload on their bodies for the specific sport they are in.  They did not just jump into a fitness regime and get where they are now in a couple of workouts.

Let’s take a person who has an office job.  They are sitting for nearly eight hours a day.  During that time, they are most likely leaning over their computer, causing their shoulders to round, straining their back in several places.  Shortened and tight muscles will begin to develop in their shoulders and chest, as well as their hip flexors.  Although they should and can jump into a bootcamp class, they will also need to focus on specific exercises to prevent chronic injury; they will need to do some shoulder-retraction exercises and like the lat pull down, seated row, as well as some antagonist exercises to balance out these exercises; such as push ups or chest presses.  The goal is to counter-act their static position in the workplace.  They will also need to perform hip flexor stretches more often than someone who has a standing job.

What about the mother who is constantly sitting cross legged on the floor with her kids?  That position shortens the IT band and in turn can cause severe knee pain.  She will need to stretch and roll, as well as strengthen the muscles around her hips to keep her knees in alignment.

My encouragement to you is to truly look at your specific, unique, beautiful, and one-of-a-kind Body.  What is needing strengthening, stretching, rolling, or maybe even physio?  Preventive exercises are the most important ones to place in your workout regime.  So, join a class, but don’t be afraid to ask specifics.  Talk to your trainer.  I love teaching group fitness classes, but I always feel like I’m just skimming the surface of the participants’ wellness.  There is so much more I can help them with specifically but am unable to do so in a group setting.  To dive in deeper into their physical anatomical needs and give them that solid, detailed foundation on top of a group fitness setting; how glorious would that be?  I believe most trainers feel the same way as I do, so do not be afraid to ‘bother’ them with your personal needs, that’s what we are here for!

I recently read a meme that I loved and will end on this;

Workout because you love your self, not because you hate your body.

Stumbling off Course

There have been some very dark moments in my heart this past month. I would look in the mirror and glare at my reflection. I was downright pissed at myself and could not even tolerate the person looking back at me.

My fitness plan was perfectly mapped out. I had learned so much about running this year through the courses I had attended, and I was so excited to put all of that knowledge into practice and better my running efficiency in everyway. I was even in a good headspace and wanted to run, I enjoyed every moment of it! And then it hit me. My right knee suddenly flared up and I could not even run around the block. Then my left knee started screaming the same awful tune. Out of commission. Ultrasounds and physiotherapist appointments. Sitting on a couch with ice on both knees, not being able to step down the stairs without holding my breath and hobbling from knee to knee. Long story short; loose ACL on my left knee, tight IT band on my left leg which was pulling my knee cap out of its proper space and giving me patella femoral syndrome. Six weeks of sitting on the couch, getting more and more depressed, and eating more and more of my emotions.

Yeah, this race season was starting off with a real bang. This should not happen to me! I am a fitness professional. I should have seen the signs. I should have stretched more. I should have taken less time on mileage and more time on recovery. I should have…if only…

Like a line up of dominoes my life came crashing down. I use my run time for prayer and obviously that began to lack. Feeling down and untrained, and then having to go to the gym to train athletes who are at the peak of their fitness level sent me spiraling further down. The couch and food became very close acquaintances.

Yup, I am an excellent role model and an inspiring trainer.

Let me stop my pity-party there, because that is exactly what I have been doing for the past six weeks and I am done. What was the real problem? Because it is not my knees, yeah that part super sucks. Nope, the real problem is I lost my focus. My eyes lingered off the real prize; my true purpose, and with that I fell hard off the path and found myself searching my fitness GPS for what went wrong.

I have discovered three awful ways we can find ourselves completely discouraged in our journey in fitness. I believe if we are aware of them and remind ourselves of these wrong turns maybe we can prevent ourselves from ending up on the losing side of wellness.

THE BEAUTIFUL

Flip open your phone and search Instagram for anything fitness related. I bet a lot of you are already following many impressive athletes and social media fitness models and celebrities. We start out watching and following them with good intentions; we want to learn from the professional, we want to be inspired, and we want more tools in our own toolbox to keep our active lifestyle exciting.

But how do you feel with some of the images? Are they legit teaching you exercises or are they just impressive images?

I have recently made a commitment to myself to unfollow several people who post a lot of body-focused pictures. I follow a lot of fitness people on Instagram because I love learning new exercises, accomplishments, and inspirations, but if I find myself looking at an image with no content and suddenly feel down about my own body – I unfollow them. It is too easy to linger and allow your mind to start critiquing your own body. That is not healthy.

THE BEST

Being in the fitness industry there is this unspoken need to perform. I need to teach the best classes, so people attend, and I get paid. I need to be the best athlete so clients will want me to train them and will be inspired by me. This need has trickled into my personal life as well…I need to be the best Mom I can be for my kids and the best wife for my husband.

I’m not asking for much…just flawless perfection!

I recently heard a phenomenal speaker at our church; Kingdom City; his name is Doug Balzer. He had asked a startling question that has really set me back on the right path. He asked the congregation where our appetites are placed. He listed three different categories; Power and Control; Affirmation and Importance; and Intimacy and Delight. Just pause and think about that for a moment. Maybe answer that for yourself. I instantly new what the real problem was in my life when I considered this. None of these appetites aligned. They were all very inward, selfish gains. And if it all just stops at me, then this life is meaningless, greedy, and a complete waste. My purpose should be aligned in the parallel pursuit of wellness; my spiritual, physical, and social wellbeing should all be linked into these three appetites and all three appetite categories should be pointing in the same direction.

THE UNBREAKABLE

There is a song that has become fiercely dear to my heart. It’s called ‘Lay It Down’ by Jorden St.Cyr, in it he sings; “Hallelujah, I am broken; I’m broken wide open. Hallelujah, I am emptied out. Hallelujah I am nothing; thank you for being my everything. I’m ready now, to lay it down.”

Who knows, if my knees were fine and I was well on my way with my running program, would I still be dependant on God? Would I still feel I needed to cling to Him? I have a race in a couple days…twenty kilometers with 30 obstacles; and I have not been able to run more than ten kilometers without having severe knee pain and having to stop. Would I be as terrified, as broken, and as dependent on my Healer and my God to pull me through? I would like to say I would be, but honestly, I fully believe He removed all of my personal dependence to be fully dependant on Him. Without being broken, I may not have even realized that my appetites had shifted from my prize.

Now to say this is completely God who caused my injuries would be wrong as well. I was literally unbalanced with my training. I had fallen in love with running and trying to make distance, and with limited time to train and run, I put it all into running. I would run longer and skip out on stretching because I didn’t have enough time. Or I would skip my lifting/resistance days because I wanted to run more the next day. It was foolish of me and now I’m paying the price. In any fitness program there needs to have balance. When you look at your fitness goals and programs make sure you have all four categories; cardiovascular, muscle strengthening, stretching, and recovery. They all depend on each other to keep your body in peak condition and prevent injuries.

Race season and summer season is fast approaching. As we click on our fitness GPS, maybe we need to scroll out and see the bigger picture – are we on the right path and are we heading in the right direction…or do we need recalculating?

Recalculating…

Legendary Living

Heroism.  We read about the heroes of the past and marvel at them.  But what is it that captivates our admiration?  Perhaps it’s their tenacity to pursue their destiny with unwavering, relentless pursuit.

Phippedieous, a mere Greek messenger became the first known man to complete a marathon, but his heroism is the stuff of legends.  Not because he ran 26 miles and announced Athenian triumph over Persia, but because he ran 300 miles prior to that with critical information that was key to their strategic plan for victory.

Three hundred Spartans stood fearlessly before the Persian army numbering in the thousands.  Without hesitation, every one of the men fought to their deaths defending their honor and freedom, and to this day they are revered and respected soldiers who captured and inspired the world with their courage and bravery.

Desmond Doss refused to carry a rifle into the battlefields in World World II.  He was labeled a coward and a religious nuisance to the army.  Then over night he became a hero; dodging bombs and bullets rescuing over 75 soldiers in the battle at Hacksaw Ridge.

Jesus Christ is the greatest hero of them all; our aspiration for honorable, holy, and heroic living. God-Himself in the flesh, came to earth with the soul purpose of offering up his life for the final sacrifice once and for all for the forgiveness of sins and eternal life.  He was ridiculed and mocked.  He was tortured and nailed and hung on a tree.  All the while having the power to stop it at any moment.  He gave up His life and ignited a spiritual revival and hope for the entire world.

There are two attributes that shine through each hero; it bursts through their chest like a glorious sunrise; it blinds us as we gaze upon their heavenward faces.  First off; they have an unwavering knowledge of their True North.

Joe De Sena, the founder of Spartan Races, says the first principle in living the Spartan Way is to “Find Your True North”.  Your True North is your purpose; it’s what drives you and fills your life with passion.  To discover this, you need to identify your guiding values and beliefs.  Your purpose is somehow linked within that.  What we sometimes forget is that we tend to put your passions on the shelf in order to just get through daily living, but what we need to do is align your values and beliefs with your daily activities.  Your life should bloom and grow within the nutrients of purpose and passion.  It’s who you are.

“Your True north is directly related to your legacy.  And everything you do, every action you take, every decision you make, must move you forward toward this legacy.”  The Spartan Way; Joe De Sena

The second attribute is that of sacrifice.  A hero’s True North is greater than themselves and it inspires the people influenced by their Hero to live fuller and better lives and perhaps even enables them to grasp their own True North.

Here’s the question then; what is your passion?  What is your purpose?  If your struggling to identify your purpose, start by writing out your obituary.  What do you want people to remember you for?  What would you like written on your tombstone?  Whatever you write down should ignite a desire to see it through.

I have a huge desire to encourage and strengthen those around me.  I wish to empower people to live their fullest and enjoy the healthiest versions of themselves.  I love to work with seniors and help strengthen and develop muscles surrounding their joints so that they can move with ease and enjoy their retirement.  Working with parents, I desire to give them the assurance that taking the time for themselves for their own health gives them that much more energy for when they are with their children.  Working with children in an obstacle-course-based gym has given me the unique privilege of being able to teach them that fitness can be fun, and with persistence they can achieve nearly anything they put their minds to.

Writing out my purpose looks a little like this; “She loved, inspired, strengthened, and encouraged.  She lived relentlessly.”  I hope to inspire and encourage you, my friends, my parents, and my kids, by any means possible…and if that’s writing blogs to reach across the globe, that’s exactly what I’ll do.

Everything in your life should align and point towards your purpose.  You might have to adjust different areas of your life so that they run parallel with each other to keep you focused on your goal.  Whatever sets your soul on fire was planted inside of you by your Creator.  It’s part of who you are.  You are a creation built for a purpose.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”  Ephesians 2:10

Your mind is the most vulnerable part of keeping your focus.  It needs to be fed consistently with positivity, inspiration, and encouragement to stay the course.  Your mind should be obsessed, everyday, to live according to your purpose.  Filling your mind with knowledge surrounding your passion helps keep you focused.  Read and research what inspires you and constantly add kindling to the fire!

“Mastering the mind is a complex process.  A warrior has confidence; yet is not blinded by foolhardiness.  He knows that victory is never assured, regardless of one’s abilities.  Mastering the mind requires an intimate awareness of one’s weaknesses and shortcomings as well as the mindfulness to mitigate and overcome such vulnerabilities.  A warrior is humble and unassuming, knowing that despite possessing great strength and discipline, triumph must be earned each and every day.”  The Road to Sparta; by Dean Karnazes

I have come to the realization that my mind is the pinnacle of my weaknesses.  I can allow my mind to wander down some dark places of believing I am insignificant, weak, worthless, and heavy.  Instead of allowing my mind the freedom to find those places, I try keeping it busy with filling it with new knowledge and inspiration related to my passions.  I search for books and courses that inspire and challenge me. I also surround myself with friends that lift me up, make me laugh, and encourage me to be the best version of myself.  I am also currently working on giving my reflection positive reinforcement.  Without judging those stretchmarks, loose skin, and grey hairs, I’ve looked at my reflection after a workout and said; “you did it!”.  With that simple statement I am acknowledging my commitment to the workout, the strength and resilience it took to complete it, and I can be proud of that simple victory.

Speaking of which; your body is the movement for your purpose.  No matter what your purpose is, your health is essential for your success.  If you are not healthy you cannot live fully.  And being healthy requires movement.  So commit.  Ask yourself this question often; “will this bring me closer or further to my purpose?”  You’ll soon see some of your habits might be pulling you away from your purpose.  Whether that’s eating the wrong things, negative self-talk, procrastination, working too much, or hanging out with the wrong crowd….you may find that you need to do some ‘pruning’ to be able to produce fresher fruit in your life.

A friend of mine gave me an amazing visual of an eagle clutching onto a heavy weight.  It tries to soar while it madly flaps its wings, but it could not freely fly until it released its vice.

What is holding you down and preventing you from taking flight?

“You were running a good race.  Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth?  That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you.”  Galatians 5:7-8

I am training to run more obstacle course races this year and my focus is to become more efficient with my running.  In order to keep focused, I have written out a running plan that will increase in length until I’m at my desired distance for the longest race I have planned for the season.  I must run a minimum of three times per week, and each week my mileage increases.  On my calendar, I’ve written how many runs to be completed that specific week and the distance of each of them.  When I complete a run, I place a checkmark above it to know that I’ve done it.  It makes it a little easier to keep your focus if it is written down as something to be completed by the end of the week.  I challenge you to write out your workout goals in a strategic plan; “workout 3x this week” or “run 5km 3x this week”.  Suddenly you can plan your entire month’s workout and at the end of the month step back and see how dedicated you are by how many checkmarks are on that calendar.

You are the only one who is responsible for fulfilling your life’s purpose.  You are in control at how well you live life and how hard you embark on your life’s adventure.  You alone are responsible for your health and your body will adapt to whatever lifestyle you give it.

How strong you want to be is entirely up to you.  You are the hero of your own story.  Own it.  Take charge of every moment of every day.  Commit and do not waver.  And don’t take your eyes off the prize and forget who you are living for.

To My Audience of One

And this is my prayer;

When the race is finally run,

I want to hear “well done”

From the Audience of One.

I’ll be content

To serve the Audience of One.

Only His approval counts

When all is said and done.

Running with Perspective

Who are you when you run? What does your inner voice tell you when you slip into your running shoes? Your perspective could change everything; your technique, your energy, your stamina, and your experience. When you take one last look at yourself before you step outside, ask yourself; “who am I taking with me?” And let me ask you this, Are you the victim of your circumstances or the prevailer of your story?

I decided to forget myself these past few months. I set down my courage, my determination, and my focus to take on a lesser version of myself that I hoped I would never encounter. She liked to call herself a victim; she was weak, and at the mercy of her circumstances, and she was never good enough.

I compete in Spartan races. I used to run them, but this year my love for them turned into an obsession to make the podium. I am a trainer! I should be standing on that podium on a regular basis. So I trained really hard. And I made it a couple times, but as I stood there, a nagging feeling began to grow inside of me. It still wasn’t good enough. It’s not a gold.

And then finally. Finally! My last race of the season I did it! I finally won gold!! Checking out my results though, I had to prove my placement, as the timing chips were not properly connected to the racers’ bibs. Our award ceremony was cancelled, and we were sent home without our medals…until further notice. Well, it’s been three months and Spartan still has not apologized or recognized their athletes. I won gold, but never attained it. That’s when “still not good enough” began to sew into my inner thoughts. I finished my year feeling completely defeated and betrayed.

A month later, I find myself in the hospital with kidney stones. For those of you who have not had the privilege of experiencing these wonderful treats…let me give you some perspective. I have given birth to two babies in my life. Both being back labour pain…one I managed to make it through 18hours of contractions until finally giving into the epidural. The pain of a kidney stone being lodged into the tube leading out of your kidney and swelling up causing severe back pain is truly worse than labour, let me assure you. I could not endure another minute of it. The pain sent me rolling on the floor, twisting in agony and vomiting several times…all in the hospital waiting room for all to see. Not one of my finer moments in life…

The irony of encountering these stones is my diet. Apparently having too many dark leafy greens and combining that with beets increases your calcium intake. Everything in moderation, they say. Are you freakin’ kidding me? Move over broccoli and kale, and hand me those cookies! All of my years of research and experimenting with nutrition left me angry and confused. Still not frickin’ good enough.

A couple weeks after recovering from the kidney stones, then recovering from the heavy medication, I thought I was on my way to building back myself and my strength. Then my son came down with the flu. Then my daughter. Then myself. Then my husband.

It’s been over a month of inconsistency, emotional binge-eating, and inactivity. As I began each day the girl in the mirror would look back at me with such disappointment and disdain in her eyes. I tried to avoid looking at her, but I could feel her thoughts – and they were hurtful. And in that moment, I had a choice to make; do I reject this girl’s opinion of me, or do I take her with me?

Technique

There is a beautiful mechanical science into how one can run best. Looking forward; shoulders back and relaxed, arms bent at 90degrees and hands coming towards hips; allowing gravity to pull you forward, your elbows pushing back with each arm swing with your legs in rhythm, leading with the knees. Your stride should not be forceable pushing forward; but allow the force to dissipate behind you. In essence; The power is behind you.

I don’t run like that. I cross my legs in front of each other; one foot in front of the other. You can tell a lot about a runner by the way their arms move – as they tend to move in rhythm with your legs. My arms follow my legs and cross in front of my body as well. It is as if I am running with my core twisting and propelling me forward. I am essentially running into myself.

My running became the perfect metaphor of my current condition. I internalized all of my problems and traded my identity for a false one. I allowed myself to become a victim, and she sang loud and clear into my ears.

Now let me ask you, how is your technique? Are you shoulders open and relaxed? Are your eyes on the horizon and allowing your circumstances to proper you forward? Or are you internalizing your circumstances, holding everything in, and caving into yourself?

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14

Energy

“I am not good enough.”

“I’m not fast enough.”

“I’m too heavy.”

“I’m too old.”

“I’m too busy.”

I have heard it all. All of these I have said to myself before and I have heard others say it to themselves as well. Why are we so mean to ourselves? Why are we setting ourselves up for failure before we even begin? We would not accept these remarks from a stranger, but we take these opinions of ourselves and wear it like a heavy noose around our neck. We are killing our potential and our spirit.

If we allow our perspective of ourselves to carry these labels with us, we will not succeed because we will not risk growth when we have already told ourselves we will fail.

I have met an incredibly strong, young woman a couple of weeks ago. When we first met, she informed me that she has registered for her first ever Spartan Trifecta for next year. For those of you new to the Spartan world; a Trifecta is three difference length obstacle course races completed in a year (and sometimes in a weekend!); a 5+km, 15+km, and a 23+km! It is quite an accomplishment. She is scared, as she recognizes the journey she must embark on; she wants to lose some weight, be able to pull herself over walls, and monkey bar efficiently; All of which she currently is working on. I love hearing her battle each week; “I am not strong enough to climb the rope…yet. I cannot get over this wall…yet. I am too heavy to monkeybar….but I will. But I will.” I have no doubt she will complete her trifecta next year, she is a force. She is not a victim to her current circumstances, nor is she discouraged by the journey ahead of her. She is a warrior, she is a Spartan. Today.

Not allowing yourself to be defeated gives you the focus and the energy to continue the battle. Looking at your refection in the mirror and refusing to put on the labels you see before you will infuse your spirit with confidence to continue the fight.

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed…Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-10, 16.

Stamina

Your past experiences will shape your perspective. If you have never run more than 5km; as you begin training to run further, your Subconscious is already thinking; “But we have never run more than 5km…” Subconscious will nudge your Body and whisper, “you haven’t run more than 5km before…”

And Body will go “Oh dear….that is correct…I have not….I don’t know if I am physically capable of running more than 5km…”

And then Subconscious will grimace and say “you are not physically capable of running more than 5km, if you were, you would have done it already. But as it were…you have not.”

Then doe-eyed Body will scratch its metaphoric chin and decide that after 5km it will be done. Girl will be fine with that.

Then Girl, you will run 4km and Subconscious becomes Conscious and will be tapping you on the shoulder saying “Girl…you only have 1km to go, because you are physically capable of 5km, and your tired. Listen to Body.”

Then Body will say, “I was prepared for 5km, I will be done in 1km. I am sure there is a tree with some shade in about 1km. We will rest and adjourn there.”

And now, Girl, you have a choice to make. Do you agree with Conscious and Body, or will you surprise both and show them you can go further?

And let me tell you a wonderful thing about your Body. It will listen to you and run further. And then Body will show Conscious what you are capable of. Then Conscious will whisper to Subconscious….

We are awesome!!!

“But those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:5-7

Experience

So what do these Bible verses have to do with running?

Everything.

Here’s the kicker:

Who are you truly battling? Is it really as tangible as your own subconscious? Do you think your that insignificant that there isn’t a spiritual battle going on over your mind and your spirit? Who do you think truly wants you to fail? Do you truly think you mustered up all of your doubts and negativity all on your own?

Am I merely only talking about running?

You are not a victim to your circumstances. You are stronger than that, and if you do claim the Victim role in your life; you are missing out on the Warrior you were designed to be.

So better your experience. Pull back those shoulders, relax the tension in them and enjoy the run. Keep your eyes fixed on the horizon. Allow gravity to pull you forward as you allow your force to dissipate behind you. Run straight and clear; free in who you are.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, not any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39